


Can I Be Him

by joceybear



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 03:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17841596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joceybear/pseuds/joceybear
Summary: Inspired byCan I Be Him - James Arthur





	Can I Be Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Reiya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reiya/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10450500) by [Reiya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reiya/pseuds/Reiya). 



> "Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?"

Ever since that fateful day, Viktor's heart had been pulled into the grasp of the Japanese figure skater, Yuuri Katsuki. The program, no,  _ his  _ program, had been skated so filled with life and love that he could've sworn that Yuuri had been skating for Viktor and Viktor alone.

At least, that's what he desperately wanted.

But underneath all of his desire, Viktor knew that it was only a silly fantasy, conjured by his overactive imagination in an attempt to make him feel better about himself.

And yet, every time Viktor stepped on to the ice, thoughts of Yuuri seemed to flood his mind no matter how much he tried to keep them out. Time and time again, he would find himself choreographing programs dedicated to the Japanese skater, brimming with all of Viktor's unrequited passion. And every time Yuuri skated, his movements like ripples in the water, Victor pretended that he was doing the same.

Now it was the day of the free skate for the world championships and Viktor couldn't seem to take his eyes off of Yuuri as he danced across the ice, everything about him flawless.

"Vitya."

Viktor turned at the familiar gruff voice of his coach.

"What are you doing?" Yakov growled, snapping his fingers in his face.

"You should be warming up, and yet here you are, staring foolishly out onto the ice at Katsuki, or whoever..."

Yakov trailed off, seeming to realize exactly what was happening and all of a sudden, Viktor was being forcibly dragged by the collar of his jacket away from the rinkside. 

"Vitya!" Yakov's yell was like a harsh slap to the face. "How many times have I told you to give it up?"

Viktor looked down at his feet.

"Here you've been for these past years, baring your soul on the ice for the world to see, and has there been any response? No!"

He opened his mouth to protest but was immediately silenced.

"I don't care what you have to say," Yakov hissed, shaking his head in disdain. "I'm pleading with you, Vitya. You need to stop  _ now  _ before Katsuki breaks you. Otherwise one day, I'm going to have shards of your heart scattered over the ice and your soul lost to the cold. Do you really want that?

Viktor didn't reply and Yakov sighed, running a hand through his thinning hair in frustration. "Please, Vitya. Listen to me."

"I can't," he whispered, his voice cracking.

"You must."

Viktor took a deep shuddering breath.

"Yakov, what if... Yuuri is the only reason I'm skating anymore?"

His coach's eyes narrowed dangerously and opened his mouth, anger forming in the lines of his face. But he was cut off by the microphone feedback, the loud screeching noise turning both their heads.

"Viktor Nikiforov." The announcer's voice rung through the stadium, signaling that it was his turn to skate. But that was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment and he made no move to head towards the rink.

"Viktor Nikiforov," the announcer repeated a sense of urgency hidden in his voice.

"Go, Vitya," Yakov growled.

"But..."

"Go now! And forget Katsuki."

So Viktor went.

And as he stepped onto the ice and flashed a smile to the crowd, forget about Yuuri he did.

When the music started, a soft and sweet piano piece (Liebesleid/Love's Sorrow - Kreisler arr. Rachmaninoff) almost like a waltz, he closed his eyes and let his body guide him through the familiar steps. He had chosen this piece of music for a reason, wanting to convey all the sorrow his love had brought him to both Yuuri and the world. 

And yet, even as he nailed his first jump, a triple axel, what normally felt easy and fluid was robotic. He was skating his love-filled program completely devoid of emotion.

As the music transitioned, what was once a reminiscent waltz became a soft, fluttering melody and Viktor forced himself to make his steps light. 

But it was so hard. 

Without Yuuri, his skating was meaningless and all the emotion he wanted to, no,  _ needed to _ show to both him and the world was  _ gone _ . 

Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to remember, just a little bit, Yuuri’s smile, Yuuri’s laugh, and all of a sudden, everything just became effortless. He skated, he  _ danced _ across the gleaming ice with his heart full to bursting and in the moment, whatever Yakov had said to him before just seemed so irrelevant.

Viktor finished with his hands over his heart, his head bowed. He held this final pose for a few seconds then acknowledged the audience and the judges, still breathless from the exertion. He turned once more for a final bow but stopped short when he caught the sharp gaze of a certain audience member. Yuuri Katsuki was standing in the bleachers, a shell-shocked expression of wonder on his face.

He had seen.

And he had understood.

A stupid grin managed to find its way into Viktor's face and he fought to keep the fireworks going off in his heart subdued. 

Yuuri had heard his message.

And in the end, that was all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think anyone's actually going to see this story but look at me I've actually gotten something done!!
> 
> I actually have a ton of story ideas but I either don't have a complete chapter written or I gave up on it. Oh well.
> 
> Anywho, if I ever manage to get those stories done, maybe you'll see them??
> 
> Enjoy this tiny drabble!!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr [here](https://joceybear.tumblr.com).


End file.
